Poker Sweater

Been working on Cottage Creations, Babies & Bears Sweater for Grown-ups. I apologize for the poor color on my second photo. I couldn't get it to appear in the proper shade. It's been fun making this sweater since I can still play poker while I knit. I'll do anything to put some of those poker players on tilt. No, casino's do not allow knitting needles. They are considered a weapon. This is pub - tournament poker and sometimes the players over deliberate their move to the point of distraction. I needed something to keep a calm non-caring poker face and Zen knitting is it. I love the way this pattern starts at the cuff and knits up the sleeve. There are a number of circular knitting needle lengths required to complete each half of the sweater. The longest was 36". This is required for holding all the stitches from the front, side and back on one needle. I played with making this in two colors. It took a bit to get the right combination of rows but I did rather luck out. The one thing I did not do was mark every 10 or so rows to keep count for ease of matching the right sleeve length to the left. I was reminded by a dear friend to go to the inside with the purl bumps and count those. They are so much easier. Even doing that, I lost count and had to resort to using a marking yarn by dipping under each 10th row. I am so intrigued by this design that I only waited a day or two after completing the left side to start on the cuff for the right side of my "poker" sweater. (Gee, I wonder how it got that name?) I was rather concerned I'd wait too long to continue and would totally loose interest in completing my poker sweater. I've only taken a short break to knit a couple of fidget scarves, which still need to be blocked.

This came to me in the middle of the night, a few nights before my husband died. It woke me in a flurry to find pen and a pad, to jot down what was appearing in my minds eye. I have shared this with a few friends that have also had big losses. Maybe it will help you as it has me. When I read it to my husband the next day, a tear slid down his cheek. If it helps anyone to have understanding or gain peace, that makes it all the more wonderful.

ME

By Arlene Ritzhaupt

Where will I be

When I’m going to be me?

How will I know when I’m me?

Since it’s all about me?

When my color turns gray,

Will it truly be me?

Do I sing?

Do I cry?

Do I want me to be me?

Will I fit?

Can I stand it?

Will the skin be too tight?

Will it be comfy and cozy?

With my sweet home in sight?

Will I want to be me from bone to bone?

Will I say I’m happy as if I were home?

Will it fit for me, to be at home with the me that I be?

Where will I be when I’m truly me?

Will the being me be the best of the being?

Will I have earned my stripes and enjoy being me?

Can I truly be me?

For if I don’t like me what shall I do?

Can I remake me all over and new?

From scratch this time, I hope to be me.

What can I add that will make me be me?

More like the me of me,

The me I must be.

The me I should be.

The me I want to be.

The me I will be.

The me I can understand as me.

Please could you tell me, the me I’m to be?

Please give me a clue of who this me should be.

There is a me inside that’s grown beyond this me.

There is a me that’s not the me, as I know it to be.

For it follows me.

It whispers to me,

It taunts me, to be me.

But I still don’t hear what this me must be.

Tell me for sure in words that I hear.

Who is this me that I must be?

Tell me of this me that I am to be.

How can I now change this me that I be?

Can I now muster to improve the me that I be.

For I feel the pull of the challenge to be just ME.

Copyright 2003

Arlene Ritzhaupt