The Band Man

by "Ritzy" Arlene Ritzhaupt

Once there was a man that sang to me

He wasn't tall or handsome, he just romanced me.

He was beyond charming as he smiled and swayed,

He winked at me and made me feel warm as he sang away.

He sang to me of things I thought I'd never hear anyone say.

He told me he'd love me even if I were old and gray.

The little band he led played and played

They had tunes that are in my heart to stay.

I never knew this man until I saw him sway with that band.

As he sang, I knew he'd be the man that would always hold my hand.

You may ask how I found this man that played those tunes and sang so grand.

I heard his voice, followed the sound, to watch as he sang and romanced me with his band.

  

© 9/16/2010

My Jeep

My Jeep 

by "Ritzy" Arlene Ritzhaupt
 

Hey man, what’d ya do to my Jeep? 

It was bright and shiny and all new, it weren’t no heap!

4 chrome wheels that would glide through water that deep

And still sparkle like a shiny new Jeep.

I added fancy chrome running boards,

To make my step up easy, more like the Fords.

A bad install made me almost fall.

Not a step up, but this ridge of horror

That sent me to the floor.

No room for a shoe

Not even a pool cue!

I had the dealer take them off

I got worse than a scoff.

When I saw my wheels in the light of day,

All the chrome had turned to ugly gray! 

Why you cheats, you thieves

You took my wheels giving me the heaves!

Don’t buy a Jeep from these guys!

You know they really aren’t very wise.

Treat me right and I’ll send you more customers as a prize.

Once people hear my story you’ll feel some shrinkage in your size.

Just before your demise!

.

© 9 /17/2010